“I don’t believe in kickin’,
It aint apt to bring one peace;
But the wheel what squeaks the loudest
is the one what gets the grease.”

– “Uncle Josh Weathersby’s ‘Punkin Centre’ Stories”
by Cal Stewart, 1903

– “Uncle Josh Weathersby’s ‘Punkin Centre’ Stories”
by Cal Stewart, 1903

I first heard of this saying from my neighbour a year or so back – the squeaky wheel gets the grease. My entire life, I have typically slid by all of the injustices which have occurred towards me because I am deaf. I was just thinking about why this is. It wasn’t just because it happened to a degree it had become normal for me. Just something to adapt to, take the hit, and move on. Adjust, adapt, survive!

The real reason I have let so many situations go is because of discrimination which occurred against me in high school, by another parent. This woman was of the opinion that I ONLY was able to achieve the grades I did in high school, because of all the “spare” periods I was given which meant more study time not afforded to other children. Basically, what was said was that my deafness gave me an unfair advantage over others. Yep.

I was already a child with a stubborn personality, determined to do everything the HARD WAY, just because I COULD! Anyone that knew me, also knew this of me. I was a stubborn, block-headed persistent mule and the paths I took were always the most challenging ones.

But, I was also still a child. These words really impacted me deeply. These words caused me to discriminate against my very own self. These words encouraged me to ignore the impact of deafness on my life and just bloody adjust, adapt, SURVIVE. These words encouraged me to view my deafness as an unfair advantage on some subconscious level, and reject accommodations for my deafness where such accommodations would have made my life just a little bit easier, and put me on somewhat more equal footing with others.

Fuck. That. Noise.

So to this jealous, vindictive parent, I want to say I am NOT sorry I got more monetary awards and better grades than your child. Also, you can get stuffed about this flimsy spare period equals more study justification. Guess what I was doing in these spare periods? I was absconding school, playing Quake on the TAFE servers across the road with my best mate. His parents were TAFE lecturers, so it was easy enough for him to access the computers over there.

The only studying I did in all that time, in all these spares, was possibly the close study of female vulvas and gross vulva related infections in a medical textbook my mate came across. 😂The TAFE library was SO much cooler than the highschool library! We poured over this find with a grossed out fascination and were busted by a high school teacher. Not because we were in uniform either – we weren’t that stupid. We went incognito over there in casuals.

We got busted, because of me. Because I was THE deaf girl. I was the only deaf girl in the entire high school, ALL the teachers knew me on sight. It wasn’t even one of my teachers. I didn’t even know this teacher. So… busted because I was deaf pretty much. No anonymity for me. My mate didn’t even get in trouble, as this teacher didn’t recognise him as a student. The only name in front of the principal’s was mine….! So to this other parent, you can take these awesome Quake sessions and that medical textbook and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine. I got these grades because of my brain. It was too easy that it was boring beyond description. Study? I didn’t even know what that was. I could read something once, and that would be enough to ace most tests.

Also to the [I believe it was the same parent] you can take Bryce Courtenay’s book “Tandia” and shove that in as well. It was my reward from my mother, and even though you may have thought the book as too “mature” for your child who was the same age as me, it most certainly wasn’t too mature for me. My mother knew it too. Thank you mum, for standing by your decision and refusing to censor my reading. My unlimited access to all books regardless of type or content gave me a much better education and perspective on life than school ever did. Books are why I can write and express myself so well.

I am upset and angry. Nobody likes being confronted with something they cannot change, and I am no different. I cannot change my deafness. I can’t change the problems associated with the impact of this deafness on my life. But… I can do something about discrimination against me because in this day and age, it is against the law to discriminate against someone because of their disability.

I can stop internalising these words I heard as a child. It is NOT playing the “deaf card” to stand up against discrimination. This view is merely another construct of discrimination, designed to silence me from calling people out on their discrimination.

And it has worked for the majority of my life.

So 2019? Bring on the Year of the Squeaky Wheel!

– deaf in Society